Skin Time in a Social Media World

If you are like me, we are connected to several hundred people on a daily basis through social media and email. This leads to a very "connected" life and one that can be updated with the hit of a send button. On more than 1 occasion I have sent a message into cyberspace about a particular life challenge and received supportive feedback from friends I personally know and "friends" who have linked through the social media source.

Social media is a wonderful innovation to be sure. We have come a long way from rotary wall phones and black and white television to the streaming applications and instant communications we have today. However, social media is a two-edged sword with both positive and negative ramifications. On the positive side, social media has the ability to connect people at far distances and in real time. It has the ability for getting messages out there quickly and has been adopted by many public health organizations and social entities to share health information quickly to a wide audience. Social media has the ability to bring small and large organizations to the awareness of large groups of people at relatively little or no cost, thereby assisting the organization's outreach as well as helping individuals find resources that may not have otherwise been found in print media.

On the downside, researchers are looking at the effects of social media on mental health. It has been noted that social media does not eliminate some of the isolation that individuals feel in life. The American Academy of Pediatrics has adopted the concept of "Facebook Depression" to describe the isolation that occurs among young people due to reliance on social media for their interpersonal and communication needs. It has even been found that those with lower self-esteem have lower "like" rates due to negative postings.

While social media is often a boon to communication and personal connectedness, it has been this author's experience that we need "skin time" with real people. There is something that enhances our esteem and mood when we connect face-to-face with others. Connecting to others helps us use our communication and "people" skills in ways that boost our mood and help to maintain or build our self-esteem.

Getting "skin time" is not as difficult as one might think. For those who are single and live alone, it is perhaps a vital element to maintaining one's mental health. Here are a few tips for getting some quality "skin time":

1) Be sure that you get out of your living space almost every day.

2) Initiate contact with others by a simple greeting or compliment.

3) At places that you frequent such as the grocery, the place you eat or the coffee shop, get to know staff by name and build a little rapport with them on each visit.

4) Be sure to try new places or rotate where you go for your "skin time" so that routine doesn't dull the experience.

5) Do something nice for someone who wouldn't expect it; remember a waiter's birthday with a card or take a box of fruit or candy to staff at your favorite place.

6) Be the one who brings an element of pleasantness to another's workplace and be consistent in doing so.

7) Listen; when you develop "skin relationships"; people like to be heard as well as to have to listen. The art of listening is a gift of sharing and develops relationships that are not "send button" limited.

A healthy life is one that is balanced in all aspects, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Social media can be a great source of support, information and connection but it can also lead to isolation. Remember that cultivating simple relationships need not be a huge emotional task. We all need "skin time". It's good for our health.

Dr Benjamin Evans is President of HealthStat Consulting LLC in Jersey City NJ; http://www.healthstatllc.com/. He is a Board Certified, Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nurse and an Old Catholic Bishop. He is an Assistant Professor of Nursing at William Paterson University. His work focuses on helping people navigate the challenges in their lives. Dr Evans' career spans 40 years in health care and ministry. Dr Evans can be reached at DrBenEvansRN@aol.com. If you have a question or would like to discuss an issue send him an email!

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How Mobile Has Changed The World

A great many things have taken place over the years. The mainstream use of computers, cell phones, changes in governments, how people think about news, console game systems and a host of other elements have changed. However, some of the biggest changes come from how mobile we are now. Gone are the days of being stuck in one place at a time, gone are the endless sounds of dialup connects sounds raging out from behind our computers. This ability to pick up and go, become mobile with anything we do as changed how we do just about everything in our lives.

Computers have gone from the rich man's play toy to the common man's mobile office. These mobile offices have changed how we do our work, how fast it is done and how information can be transferred. A reporter at the scene of an advent can now write a story, upload pictures to it and send it off, all without needing to go back to their office or home to do it. A stockbroker can monitor a client's stocks while out to eat, all thanks to being mobile. Need to check your emails, see who won the big game, just crack to open your laptop and see.

If being mobile with your laptop has not been enough, the changes in technology for when it comes to the cell phone you have in your pocket right now as changed too. The 80s had more than big hair, for those of us that remember mobile phones than were as big as bricks, and weighted the same too. Now your mobile phone is referred to as a cell phone. That cell phone holds as much technology as your typical laptop computer. Being able to get alerts, check emails, post on forums, and goes to class online and even read a book. All while being mobile and staying connected. Being mobile keeps information flowing even when you're stuck in traffic.

Changes in how many governments today have taken place as well. The progress from little beepers that sat on everyone's hip, to now, their cell phone in their pockets sit ready to be used for any issue or anything that might ever come up. Mobile technology has taken many of the outdated ways of not just communicating but thinking about how information is received and changed it. A person in government can now get reports and important documents while being mobile send them to other people in government, keeping the information safe the entire time. No more need to have extra aids do that work, or lost files being left in some room somewhere. These mobile technology changes have not just changed the working world, but the social one as well.

As this is being written a chat box pops up, the person on the other end is in the middle of the jungle in South America. They send photos and videos of what they are doing right this minute. The writer might not be mobile, but the person on the other end is. The writer can share in the moment of what is happening. I want to see a live birth on the web you can. Someone with a mobile phone somewhere can share the experience with friends and family. Even if that family is halfway around the world. Staying connected while being mobile was the first intent of the technology, but being mobile has done more than keep us connected. It has shaped how we see interaction with others. How we let others into our life has changed. There are a lot fewer secrets on what we do behind closed doors, because many of those doors are no longer closed in such a mobile community.

But like with anything there are always draw backs. Being mobile has changed some things that can never be undone. Yes, that mobile reporter can report their news, get it out to the public faster than someone else, but is that news correct? Is there a disconnect between how we interact with people personally over the persona's, we create for ourselves while being online? To many degrees, a mobile society might be more open in what we share, but we have become more closed off in how we share it. The chat with our neighbors over the fence has been replaced with a quick nod as we rush off on our days. Being mobile has replaced the handshake with the clicking of keys. A viewing screen has changed how we see our friends and family as well. These things will never be undone; they can only be fixed, but not until we see that there are honest problems with how we interact.

Yet things of a mobile community are not about doom and gloom either, we are able to do things now that could never have been thought of before. The lives that can be saved because two doctors from different ends with the world can speak about patience's needs or the children who have been found that were missing, and the local police can get the information out faster. These improvements in communication have been heavily weighted toward the positive. Being mobile, taking that plunge is no longer a risk like it once was either. Those risks have been replaced with excitement; that excitement turns into passion, and even if we start to fragment as an interpersonal mobile society, we have come together in other areas that were unheard of.

A child who is scared to fly can take a mobile gaming device on a plane. Being able to waste away the hours before a flight while being drawn into what they are doing. Before long, the plane lands and they are off on their way; the fear is still there but sedated by what they were doing. Mobile games, or for a more current use with the word, handheld games can do everything from teaching us to read to break digital bricks. These simple changes have also changed what we do. So, has mobile technology changed the world? Honestly do you know anything different?

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